the why and the wherefore

' "oh, (blank)! i (blank) you so (blank). it's been years since someone has (blanked) me to such (blanks) of (blank)!"

"my own (blanky) (blank). i saw your (blank) in the (blank) and my (blank) got so (blank) i had to come right over her and (blank) you (blankly)."

he (blanked) her (blank), and she (blanked) with (blank). and then she (unblanked) his (blank) with her teeth.'



there is a woman who writes books, i'm inclined to say that they are of the drugstore variety. several have the same peculiar pattern of words "verb (present tense) + me + adverb (ending in -ly)." as in "whip me sporadically." or, "grate me frenetically." or even "shake me long-windedly." not that these are the actual names of her books. "something me thisly" sums it up, though. they're romance novels. romance novels about werewolves, cyborgs, aliens, and the like. apparently, they're just like humans when it comes to their...romantic wooing techniques. except there is always one human involved, making them inter-species romances. and you only really see the humans on the cover, with some shadowy figure lurking around the edges standing in for The Other. cause it's hard to think of romance when you're faced with a real, live werewolf, i suppose.

myself?

i prefer the ones about pirates.