honestly. you know? just...honestly.

i've come to a conclusion....i don't like computers. sure, they're nice when they're new and working correctly, and i'm very grateful that my ancient iBook (her name is iRene) consents to keep playing dvds for me. and gee, isn't email handy? (truth be told, i prefer letters. i like to hold something in my hand, something actually written by putting pen to paper. it's no fun to put an email printout under your pillow for sweet dreams.) but the internet is...well, isn't it all just a bit much? i actually don't want to be in constant communication with every single person i know. that's why i moved away from home. i'm not even all that keen on the telephone. i had a myspace page, but then i remembered that i'm in my late twenties. i have a facebook page, but i only got it so i could talk with a friend in ireland. what are all of those 'applications' for? none of them have any place in real life. i don't want my zombie chump to bite my friends. i don't want a virtual bottle of chocolate syrup. i don't want to play scrabble with you, or see what you wrote on my wall, or compare our knowledge of 'shawshank redemption', which i thought was a lousy film anyway. i mean, if you were sitting with someone, face to face, you would never -- okay, you could play scrabble. i concede that point. but would you draw pictures for each other? would you pinch or poke each other? would you endlessly challenge each other's accumulated movie lore?

of course not.

so why are we doing it?

what makes people think, that because they spot your picture, read your profile, and send you a friend invitation, you have ANY inclination to accept? it would be like some randomer coming up to you on the street in the middle of the day and saying, 'i like you let's be friends tell me your secrets lol.' to be honest, that may be the thing i hate most about the internet. the spawning of 'lol.' i make it a point to try and avoid contact with anyone who knowingly uses that and is over the age of fourteen.


maybe i'm not taking it all seriously enough. there are people who, when i log in because i've been invited to yet another pointless non-existent group, change their 'status' like most people change underwear. so-and-so likes blue today. so-and-so keeps watching 'the hills.' so-and-so is so incredibly devoted to chronicling every moment that it boggles my mind. maybe i, too, would be happier if i did this. maybe i should accept that group invitation. there are currently 32,248 for 'chocolate=love!' but they can't compete with the 155,720 over at 'kids who hid in department store clothing racks while their mom was shopping.'

i'm sorry, but...give me a fucking break. do they all get excited when they meet other group members in person? do they have weekly chapter meetings?

maybe i'll start my own group.

i'll call it 'omygod how rad is it to have brown eyes?!'

lol.